Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away
by Shadowfax
Summary: If you make the ultimate sacrifice but no one's there to see, does it make a difference? Alone after the apocalypse, Illyria cannot stand the emptiness.


If you make the ultimate sacrifice but no one's there to see, does it make a difference? Alone after the apocalypse, Illyria cannot stand the emptiness. So she gives something back to the only one she ever cared about.

Anything that resembles something that perhaps might belong to Joss Whedon… does. Italicized lines are from the episodes "A Hole in the World," "Shells," "Time Bomb," and "Not Fade Away."

* * *

"Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away…"  
-

"_And this is my power- to not let them take me…"_

I hear the echo of voices in the cavern of the silence that is what remains of the world.

"_My world is gone."_

What is this? This... _emptiness_ inside of me? I can see it reflected in the corpses scattered about me. It is everywhere with its overwhelming presence.

"_Now you know how I feel."_

I... miss them. The humans, and the halfbreeds. It is a strange feeling. Even stranger is that I do not retch at the thought. I inherited something of these creatures from the shell. The need for companions. Connections to the world. Even as I was, in my glory, I would find this barren world not worth living in. Nothing moves. Not even the wind can be bothered to lift the dust. The world is empty now of even the creatures that sought to destroy it. Keeping them from enjoying their spoils was less than the bother of killing a gnat to one with my powers. No, destroying them brought me pleasure. But now... I am alone. No one exists to serve me. To worship me. But I have seen the destruction of my world; this absence no longer gives me pause. It is something else I miss. The companionship of those who presume to think themselves my equals. Their audacity was amusing in a world that had lost all of its humor.

"_You have opened my eyes to truth."_

And I lay the blame upon the shell, but really I think... No. I _know_... this experience has changed me. Myself, not only my appearance or other such superficial things. Much as I am loathe to admit that such vermin have affected me. But their faces are in my mind, and emotions that I once would have thought solely the province of lower beings afflict me. And looking around at the wasteland that spreads out on all sides to beyond the horizon, I wonder, can even one such as I continue to live in this world?

"_It does not exist until it is broken… time."_

I hate the loneliness, but even more I hate the way I hate it. That I have become so infected by the lower beings that I feel for them. I hate that they matter to me. I hate that I care for them. Wesley... I did care for him. I found his attachment to the shell an attractive trait. Such devotion is commendable, even in lower beings. It is what any being would want, in one who worshiped them. I was not fooled; he never cared about me. It was the shell he wanted. The shell he would have sacrificed everything for.

"_She was so brave."_

Perhaps he has influenced me more than I thought. I... I would sacrifice. With my world dead all my dreams had gone, and with this world now destroyed all the hope he spoke of is gone as well.

"_Beyond perfection…"_

Anger fills me. Am I not the mistress of time? Does not the universe bend at my word? Then _why_ can I not have what it is that I _want_?

"_Rules can be broken."_

I raise my head. Who says I cannot have it? I defy them. I shall take what I want.

"_Feared. And beloved, as few are."_

...What do I want?

"_There is nothing that I want."_

I think for a moment. Want… desire…

"_You are what I don't understand."_

I have never _wanted_ before. Back then, what I sought was only the worship of the masses, their adoration. _Desire_ was something that made the sludge glow in the night; it was not something that touched me. Damn the shell, but I believe I feel desire. There... there is something that I want. Nay, that I crave. And if I had never entered this world, this world of death and emptiness, I would never have _felt_ these things!

"_To never die and to conquer all- that is winning."_

And though I curse myself for the thought that is in my mind, already I close my eyes and concentrate. I have never attempted such a thing before, but I can feel the energy waiting for me, sitting in that dimension where _he_ pulled it away to. I can reach it… Only touch the edge of it, but I have never met an obstacle that held before my will. Siphoning back what was taken from me uses much of it, but there is enough left. Enough… Damn these humans. But... this will be best. For all. And I will be able to join my people, my world.

"_My only sunshine…"_

_-O-_

Fred leaned over the sarcophagus, peering down at it. It drew her in a way she could not explain. An insatiable curiosity rose in her. What was it? Where had it come from? How on earth did you _open_ it? She leaned closer.

An arm reached out from behind her, grabbing her and pulling her roughly away from the large piece of stone. The spiral opened and a puff of air was released, unnoticed behind the two women who stood facing each other warily.

Fred stared at the woman before her. Her hair and eyes were the most unnatural blue, and her skin looked like it was cracking open, unable to hold the power contained within, but other than that she resounded with a familiarity that burned at Fred's eyes and throat. "Who…" Fred croaked, though she already knew and the question she really wanted to ask was _how_, but at that moment Knox entered the lab.

"What happened?" he cried out, stopping dead when he saw the second woman. "Master?" he said, his voice wondering and worshipful. The strange woman raised her arm and with the flick of a wrist sent a tray full of glass rods flying through the air to embed themselves in Knox's chest. He gulped and, with a look of surprise, fell to the floor. Fred's scream of horror at the sudden murder of her coworker echoed through the lab. The strange blue woman turned back to face her.

"What..." Fred managed to get out, when the strange doppelganger grabbed her by the arm again and pulled her away from the sarcophagus. The stranger suddenly stopped and turned to Fred.

Fred felt the stranger's eyes upon her, looking her up and down. With a sneer, the woman said, "I do not know what he sees in you Shell, but he does belong to you, heart and soul. Do not treat him badly, for even in my time we rewarded such loyalty." Turning away from Fred, she raised her arm and closed her eyes. Power gathered around her fingertips, and then shot out toward the sarcophagus. When it collided with the stone vessel, the ancient relic imploded leaving only a small pile of rubble. The blue woman bent over, as if some great power had been sucked out of her swiftly, then her body began to disintegrate.

Turning to Fred, the stranger spoke one last time, "Go from this room now. If any of myself or my sarcophagus remains, return it to the Deeper Well. Take care of..." And all that remained was a pile of blue tinged dust.

-

"Are you alright?" Wesley's fingers touched her arm softly.

"Yes," Fred murmured, still shaken. "Oh my god, Knox…" She leaned against Wesley's shoulder hiding her face against him. "She just killed him. Why? Who _was_ she?" But she really did know, so she asked, "Where did she come from?" and most important, as the tears streamed down her face, "_Why_?" She cried openly, mourning her coworker and, she had thought of him, friend.

Wesley's arms held her tightly. "I don't know," he said truthfully, stroking her soothingly across her back. "But she's gone now. And she can't hurt you anymore." His face was against her hair, and he repeated again like a mantra, "she can't hurt you." There was something in those words, something he felt he should know, but it didn't matter now and Fred was warm against him. "Let's take the day off, shall we?" He released her, to look at her face, and smiled softly.

She smiled back; tentatively at first, unsure that the danger was past. But soon her smile was warmer and more open, and the shadows in her eyes faded to cobwebs dusted away by the sunlight. "It's a beautiful day outside," she said, grinning wildly. "How about a picnic?"

"That sounds lovely." His eyes were smiling, and he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Alright! Let me get my coat." She gave him one last smile before she turned away, humming under her breath.

_You are my sunshine  
my only sunshine  
you make me happy  
when skies are grey  
you'll never know dear  
how much I love you  
please don't take my sunshine away_

_-0-_

How'd you like? I don't read a lot in this fandom, so I don't know if this is something that's been done before... Inspired greatly by the novel _Sphere_, if you've ever read that. The ending always makes me mad, because they forget about what was sacrificed. So, while this looks like a happy ending, I would call it a tragedy… Am I alone in that? Probably… Anyway, let me know what you think of it!


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